Day 11 – this one’s for Pat (Portable Appliance Test)

I don’t know what a Pat test is, but this morning at 8.30, Baz productions had one and passed with flying colours. I arrived at the crypt for the aftermath, test completed, results out, smiling faces. Much less agony than taking an A-level result, or waiting 3 weeks to see if you passed your ISTD grade 3 modern dance exam (don’t worry, I passed, and am fully qualified to apply jazz shoes, sometimes even on the right feet).
A Pat test. Something to do with lights and electrics, and not a Pad test as I had originally miss-heard. (I often miss-hear things. I thought the song from Rocky was Iver the Tiger, not Eye of the Tiger.) So Pat it is. Named, presumably, after someone, Patricia, or Patrick, who first invented the test many years ago, using only sticks, mud and spit.
Clever pat. Thanks pat. Because of you, our audience are not in any danger. They will be safe and healthy thanks the health and safety of Pat and her or his test, which is now slightly more sophisticated, using Geiga counters and the tester’s trained eyes to spot anything suspicious, like wires sticking out or emitting smoke or unwanted sparks.
By now you will have realised that I am  not a technical person. I dont know what I’m talking about when it comes to watts or volts or circuits. My skills lie elsewhere, in modern dance for example (after the success of grade 3 I achieved my ISTD grade 4 and can deliver a step-ball-change, provided there is adequate warning, on most even surfaces). Fortunately Baz has a baseball-capped technical wizard facilitating every move it makes in the crypt, illuminating the beauty and fragility of this ancient monument we are lucky enough to be working in. We thank the be-baseball capped hero for our success in the Pat test today, and for enabling us to get to the next very important stage, which is actually putting the damn play on. We’re so close, it’s almost happening. We are PAM.

Pam = Play Al Most

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